These points are from a fabulous article that appeared on Parenthood recently that is very well-sourced and brings up some excellent points. Please read that article too.

Kids need help understanding life on-line. Sometimes they may think they are being funny or horsing around but their actions can have long-term effects including denial of college admissions and possibly criminal investigations. We owe it to our kids to help them create their virtual identity in the best possible way.

According to the Parenthood article, 90% of ninth graders have a Facebook page and kids as young as fourth grade are lying about their age to create a profile. We need to keep an eye on what’s going on. Here are a dozen tips to help:

• Get on Facebook if you aren’t already so you can understand the intricacies – privacy settings, how to tag pictures, how to post your activity and photos, etc.
• Make your kids wait until they are minimally 13 and more appropriately 16 when their maturity level is strong enough that they can understand the ramifications of their actions better.
• You MUST know your child’s user name and password. The article stresses that this is an absolute must. They should also know you will be checking in on them periodically.
• Request that your child “friend” you. If you have a strong relationship, this probably won’t be an issue.
• Ask your child to only friend people he or she actually knows. Many kids on Facebook have thousands of friends they’ve never met which sets them up for predators to find them.
• Suggest your child not friend their teachers. This puts teachers in an awkward spot if they see something questionable or inappropriate on a Facebook page.
• Resist the urge to comment on your child’s status. Always nosing into the conversation doesn’t allow you to really watch what’s going on.
• Discuss things off-line if you have questions or would like to understand something better. Don’t have a virtual fight everyone can see.
• Teach your kids about privacy and the importance of that. Make sure they understand the dangers of posting phone numbers, addresses and activities like going on vacation. Also, let them know some of the on-line games are spyware and adware traps that can harm their computers.
• Help your child understand the on-line reputation he or she is creating. College admissions offices routinely check Facebook for undesirable activities such as drunk photos. Help your child understand that even if he or she doesn’t post the photos, others can and that becomes searchable.
• Make sure your children understand you are an ally. If they are feeling troubled or being bullied, they should know they can come to you and you will help them, not judge them.
• Know that Facebook does have good points. It can help with making plans and communicate about schoolwork.  It can help shy kids feel better about communicating. Know that it can be good for kids.